Positive Post Tuesday

Well, it is Tuesday and I'm jumping on the Positive Post bandwagon. Brody Harper started all this a while back and I'm just now getting around to it.

Today, my positive post is about my homie Tim Keeler from my hometown. We became friends in high school and I always admired Tim. Mainly because he knew who he was and what he stood for.

You see, Tim was a Christian when it wasn't "cool" to be a Christian out in public. You know, to unabashedly talk about God and Jesus and how He affects your life. He chose to be himself and not someone the crowds pushed him to be. And the most amazing things happened. People loved Tim and they never stopped. His easy way of sharing Christ and His love was so profound. I know I'm not the only one who Tim influenced like that. He lives out the words in 1 Peter 3:15:

But respect Christ as the holy Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to answer everyone who asks you to explain about the hope you have

Tim is a musician and an educator. I guess he always has been. Several years ago, with the help of a few friends (like Anthony!), Tim recorded and released a CD called "Passing Conversations" that I can highly recommend.

Just recently, Tim has set out on a journey halfway around the world. He has moved to Japan where he will teach English as a second language. I'm positive that he will end up teaching more than that while he is over there.

God bless you, Tim Keeler, and Godspeed to you.

Slogging through the desert

Do you know Sisyphus?

I do. The past few weeks I took over for him so he could get a break.

Seriously though, I've been in a rut.

And, as per my usual behavior, I've tended to make myself comfortable in it. And that's not a good thing. So I started beating myself up for getting comfortable. And that's not a good thing either.

But then tonight, I visited some of my "regular" blogs (Evan and Eddie) and they kick started my brain.

Evan talked about uncertain and alone in a dark place which helped jump start my thinking about my own situations. And then Eddie pointed me to a new blog from Edwin Crozier (which will also be one of my regulars now). In Edwin's blog I was reminded that I'm not as bad as I think I am sometimes.

So, after some soul searching, I decided to talk deeper about it with my wife (quite a wonderful woman, I might add). See, that's important because when things get rough and I start beating my self up, I feel shamed. And when I feel shamed, I go silent. I also want to be alone. A lot. So talking about these deep, dark feelings with anyone is a change from my typical behavior.

She was nice enough to listen and then, without being condescending, remind me that God uses times like this for our benefit, too. We talked about Moses on the back side of the desert and how God used his exile from Egypt to prepare him for the Exodus.

At that moment I realized that not only had I cut myself off from a lot of the people around me but I had also started squeezing God out as well.

Whoa! Time to stop that. I'm headed for some quality time with God. It's time to get serious about active prayer again and stop treating the Bible like a reference book and more like the eternal Word of God.

Anybody want to keep me honest on this?

Back to normal?

Well, I guess I'm getting back to normal since I got back from DC.

That sucks.

I don't want to be normal. I want to be doing something special. I feel like something in me is yelling out to go back up the mountain.

At the same time, I feel like it's "down here" where I really need to be (not to be confused with the band downhere) . And it's hard to do that, I'm finding.

Go back with me, if you will, to our first morning in DC (Fri, 6/6/08). We're up and out of the church by 6:00am to travel across the city to So Others Might Eat(aka SOME). We're on tap to help setup and serve breakfast and lunch at their dining room. SOME isn't the biggest outreach and kitchen in DC (we went there later), but they do feed around 800 - 1000 meals per day.

Upon arrival, we met our humble and helpful host, Tony. Tony gave us the lay of the land and fielded many teenage questions from our group. He was very gracious throughout. Then it was on to the dining room for the next 6 hours. I managed the dishwashing detail for all shifts. That meant that me and oen of our high schoolers made sure that we always had enough plates and cups for the dining room. Sounds easy, but here are some numbers to put it in perspective: SOME can seat 100 people at a time, they turn each seat about every 5 minutes, and they have less than 200 plates and about 150 cups. Let me tell you, we were up to our elbows in grits and eggs at breakfast and then covered in chili and soap suds at lunch!

All the while, we got to meet and talk with the homeless and hungry of DC. We got to work with an amazing group of full-time staff and volunteers. We got to see the love of Christ in action everywhere we turned. Six hours went by way too fast.

I could see the youth we brought with us seeing it too. Most of them had their world views expanded, even cracked open, in that short time frame. I admit that mine was stretched too. It would be again and again throughout the week.

Thus began the mountain top experiences. I felt liek I was miles above normal. I felt like I was really connecting to God and working for Him. My heart took Colossians 3:23 seriously for probably the first time:

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. (Col 3:23 - 24, NIV)

It was so easy to be that way. I was away from most of my daily routine and responsibilities (no work calls/emails/SMS, no daily commute, no church committee meetings), I was in a different geographic location and culture (Dupont Circle in DC is a whole lot different than suburban South Carolina), and I was spending day and night with a group of people that I didn't normally spend much time with. It was like being a different person without being a different person. I'm not sure that makes sense...

Now I'm home. I'm back at work. I'm in the daily routines. It's not easy anymore. Eddie recently tackled some of this when he talked about feeling uninspired during the "good times" in life. That is, when things are normal and going along OK, we can lose the grip on our dependence on God.

Maybe that's where I am. I'm back to the things that I feel like are mine. In DC, I was unencumbered and out of my element. That's where I found God waiting. I mean, He's always there waiting, but back home I've piled up a whole bunch of stuff (work, family, routine) to make a wall that shuts me off from Him.

I know I don't like that wall. I know it's not the right way to live. I know it needs to change to stop blocking me off from God.

I just don't know how right now...

Down the mountain

I'm still in the process of putting pen to paper to get thoughts on the DC mission trip in order. In the process, I'm having a sort of crisis.

You see, the trip and the work we did was an amazing experience for me. The opportunity to serve like that and living in community with the opportunity to teach and learn really lifted me up. I felt as if I was drenched in the Holy Spirit instead of sweat each day. It was a mountain top experience.

Luke 9:28-36 describes the literal mountain top experience that Jesus has. He goes up the mountain with Peter, John, and James and experiences transfiguration and fellowship with both Moses and Elijah. The disciples with Him are awe struck (of course) and want to honor Jesus and the others. Instead, Jesus leads them back down from the mountain.

Until the past few days, I did not connect the next section of Scripture with this one. But now it makes perfect sense. Luke 9:37-42 describes what happens coming down the mountain. Jesus performs a healing miracle and casts a demon out of a young boy.

I say that I see the connection now because I have come down the mountain and am having a sort of depression or let down. Like Peter, I have this desire to stay on the mountain:

As the men were leaving Jesus, Peter said to him, "Master, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah." (He did not know what he was saying.) (Luke 9:33 NIV)

So I am torn between this desire and returning to everyday life. Neither is really feasible for me and, honestly, I think I'm only seeing my selfish desires here. I can't "live on a mission trip" at this point in my, and my family's, life. I can't settle for just going back to the same old daily routine. There must be something else.

Back to the relevance of the two passages in Luke. The importance of the second passage is what has gotten clear: Don't stay on the mountain, come back down and serve others.

It's what Jesus did.

It's what I need to do. I also need to pray about it, I know.

Father, I pray that you will continue to use me in service according to your will. I once again give to you my life and stake no claims to it myself. I submit to your sovereignty and humbly ask for your direction and guidance. May it be your will that is done. Amen.

Link loved

I got back from a mission trip to Washington, DC yesterday. Still trying to recover from the travel and process all the amazing stuff that went on. I expect to put up several posts soon on the trip. In the mean time, please enjoy these links to the blogs/sites of several folks that I enjoy reading and that have provided inspiration and support over the past months. Please take minute or two to visit them.

Evan at Living With "God Vision"
Eddie at Simple Life in Christ
Carlos at Raggamuffin Soul
John at Vertizontal
Stephen at Thoughts of a Worshiper
Gene at Jesus is Extravagant!
Brody at "...in case you were wondering."

(inspired by this post from Brody)

Thanks and may God bless you.